Zomfg! Swine flu is now a phase 6 pandemic! However, no one cares.

Today, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared swine flu (or H1N1) to be the worst outbreak of disease in over 41 years. Previously, the H1N1 virus was classifed by WHO at pandemic phase 5, meaning that although outbreaks were occuring in localized areas, it had not infected as many people world-wide. Now, as a phase 6, (gasp!) it has currently infected 28,774 suckers people as a global epidemic. Drug giant GlaxoSmithKline PLC announced that they would start mass-producing anti-pig-virus-O’-death vaccines, but it’ll take nearly forevs (or several months) before they are ready for widespread distribution.

Now back up.

Only 144 deaths have been reported. That’s a mortality rate of 0.5%. The seasonal flu has a mortality rate between 5% and 10%.

When it reached its phase 5 status a couple months ago, the media went crazy, constantly bombarding news stations with stories on how swine flu = instant death. So, if I were you, I’d throw out the TV now.

Or, if you’d rather watch the madness ensue, you can follow the CDC on Twitter!

-Zack